Three Reasons To Have Your Chimney Cleaned (2006)

 

1. To make it look nice.

 

2. For safety reasons.

 

3. Santa will be using it shortly.

===================================

Santa Claus is coming to town-

And no soot on his suit needs to be found.

Santa Claus’ Driving On The Road Suggestions (2002)

SANTA CLAUS IS GETTING READY AT THE NORTH POLE-
SO THAT THE WONDERS OF CHRISTMAS EVE CAN UNFOLD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AND WHILE HE PREPARES TO GET OUT ON THE ROAD-
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT HE WANTS
TO SAY TO EASE UP HIS LOAD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“DON’T EVEN FATHOM THE THOUGHT TO DRINK
AND DRIVE-
SO THAT ALL OF MY STOPS WILL INCLUDE
PATRONS THAT ARE SAFE AND ALIVE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“EVERYONE ON THIS HOLIDAY SHOULD HAVE
LOTS OF FUN-
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT CAN BE
UNSELFISHLY DONE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IF ONE FEELS THE DESIRE TO PARTY AND DRINK-
THEN ALL ONE HAS TO DO IS JUST SIT FOR A
MOMENT AND THINK!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BE SURE TO HAVE A SAFE WAY HOME FOR ALL
CONCERNED-
THE LESSON NOT TO, HAS BEEN DONE AND
MANY HAVE BEEN BURNED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND STOP AT THOSE RED LIGHTS IS WHAT I’D
ALSO LIKE TO SAY-
“FOR WHATEVER REASON YOU’RE IN SUCH A HURRY,
THAT ONE RED LIGHT ISN’T WORTH THE PAIN
CAUSED BY THE SCURRY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I HAVE MANY STOPS TO MAKE AND I PLAN
THEM WELL AHEAD-
I JUST DON’T JUMP IN MY SLEIGH, AND HURRY
DOWN THE ROAD DIRECTLY FROM MY BED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
” AS FAR AS ROAD RAGE THERE IS NO
SOUND REASON-
“TO GET ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE DURING
THIS MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“RELAX, BREATHE DEEP, AND SIMMER DOWN-
FOR THERE IS MUCH TO SEE WITH ALL THE
HOLIDAY SIGHTS AND SOUNDS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I’VE ENJOYED ALL YOUR LETTERS, E-MAILS,
AND A FEW PHONE CALLS-
ALONG WITH MY EARLY VISITS WITH YOU AT THE
NEIGBORHOOD MALLS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BUT PLEASE WHEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PHONE
CALL FROM YOUR CELL-
DON’T MAKE IT WHILE DRIVING FOR I WISH YOU
STAY WELL!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TOO MANY ACCIDENTS HAVE HAPPENED WITH PEOPLE
USING CELL PHONES WHILE ON THE HIGHWAY-
THOSE CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE HANDLED AT
ANOTHER PLACE OR ANOTHER TIME IS WHAT I’D HAVE
TO SAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WHATEVER YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT CAN WAIT SO
THAT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYES ON WHAT IS UP
AHEAD-
I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO WHAT
YOUR CONCERNED SANTA CLAUS HAS SAID!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IT’S ALSO SILLY TO WATCH TV WHILE DRIVING
IN THE CAR-
WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HOME IN A COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT WITH NO OTHER THOUGHT AT HAND
TO ADMIRE THAT SHINING STAR!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I SAY TO YOU TO DO
WHAT I DO BEFORE I HEAD ON OUT-
I ALWAYS BUCKLE UP FIRST BEFORE HEADING OUT
ON MY ROUTE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WITH ALL BUCKLED IN, THE RIDE IN MY SLEIGH,
OR IN YOUR CAR WILL BE AS IT SHOULD-
FOR SAFETY’S SAKE AS MUCH AS YOU COULD.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“HO! HO! HO! NOW THAT I’M FINISHED PREACHING
ON THE SUBECT OF YOUR SAFETY FOR THE HOLIDAY-
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET READY FOR ME, FOR
I WILL BE SHORTLY ON MY WAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR INTO THE
YEAR 2003-
MAY WE ALL COUNT OUR BLESSINGS THAT WILL BE ACCIDENT
FREE!

Three Types Of Nets (2012)

1. Volleyball.

2. Fishing.

3. Safety.

======================

To stand still-

As U. S.  dairy farmers struggle

with no extended farm bill.

Three Heroes (2015)

1. Firemen.
2. Soldiers.
3. Cats.
================
Immense-
Coming with safety sense.

Three On The Sidewalk (2015)

1. Bikes.
2. Skates.
3. Hoverboards.
========================
And walkers too-
Trying to get safely through.

 

Three On The Sidewalk (2015)

1. Bikes.
2. Skates.
3. Hoverboards.
========================
And walkers too-
Trying to get safely through.

 

Three Locks (2012)

1. Goldi.

2. Safety.

3. Grid.

==================

In the groove-

Not to move.

 

 

Modern Mother Goose-On The Loose # 861 (The Snow Came)

The snow came-

And, things were no longer the same.

.

I had to dig my way out-

To head, in the direction, of my work route.

.

And, even then it was hard to make way-

For this was no sunshine day.

.

The streets and highways were filled with ice and snow-

Should have stayed home, with nowhere, to go.

.

But, of course, I slowly crept, and headed towards

the destination-

Too much snow, what an abomination.

.

If only everyone else would slow down a bit-

I like safety, I don’t want to get hit.

.

Shouldn’t complain though, for in the summer, we

did sweat-

Really and truly we haven’t gotten over that yet.

.

The snow came-

And, things were no longer the same.

Three On The Sidewalk (2015)

1. Bikes.
2. Skates.
3. Hoverboards.
========================
And walkers too-
Trying to get safely through.

 

Modern Mother Goose-On The Loose # 861 (The Snow Came)

The snow came-

And, things were no longer the same.

.

I had to dig my way out-

To head, in the direction, of my work route.

.

And, even then it was hard to make way-

For this was no sunshine day.

.

The streets and highways were filled with ice and snow-

Should have stayed home, with nowhere, to go.

.

But of course, I slowly crept, and headed towards

the destination-

Too much snow, what an abomination.

.

If only everyone else would slow down a bit-

I like safety, I don’t want to get hit.

.

Shouldn’t complain though, for in the summer, we

did sweat-

Really and truly we haven’t gotten over that yet.

.

The snow came-

And, things were no longer the same.