Santa Claus’ Driving On The Road Suggestions (2002)

SANTA CLAUS IS GETTING READY AT THE NORTH POLE-
SO THAT THE WONDERS OF CHRISTMAS EVE CAN UNFOLD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AND WHILE HE PREPARES TO GET OUT ON THE ROAD-
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT HE WANTS
TO SAY TO EASE UP HIS LOAD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“DON’T EVEN FATHOM THE THOUGHT TO DRINK
AND DRIVE-
SO THAT ALL OF MY STOPS WILL INCLUDE
PATRONS THAT ARE SAFE AND ALIVE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“EVERYONE ON THIS HOLIDAY SHOULD HAVE
LOTS OF FUN-
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT CAN BE
UNSELFISHLY DONE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IF ONE FEELS THE DESIRE TO PARTY AND DRINK-
THEN ALL ONE HAS TO DO IS JUST SIT FOR A
MOMENT AND THINK!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BE SURE TO HAVE A SAFE WAY HOME FOR ALL
CONCERNED-
THE LESSON NOT TO, HAS BEEN DONE AND
MANY HAVE BEEN BURNED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND STOP AT THOSE RED LIGHTS IS WHAT I’D
ALSO LIKE TO SAY-
“FOR WHATEVER REASON YOU’RE IN SUCH A HURRY,
THAT ONE RED LIGHT ISN’T WORTH THE PAIN
CAUSED BY THE SCURRY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I HAVE MANY STOPS TO MAKE AND I PLAN
THEM WELL AHEAD-
I JUST DON’T JUMP IN MY SLEIGH, AND HURRY
DOWN THE ROAD DIRECTLY FROM MY BED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
” AS FAR AS ROAD RAGE THERE IS NO
SOUND REASON-
“TO GET ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE DURING
THIS MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“RELAX, BREATHE DEEP, AND SIMMER DOWN-
FOR THERE IS MUCH TO SEE WITH ALL THE
HOLIDAY SIGHTS AND SOUNDS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I’VE ENJOYED ALL YOUR LETTERS, E-MAILS,
AND A FEW PHONE CALLS-
ALONG WITH MY EARLY VISITS WITH YOU AT THE
NEIGBORHOOD MALLS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BUT PLEASE WHEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PHONE
CALL FROM YOUR CELL-
DON’T MAKE IT WHILE DRIVING FOR I WISH YOU
STAY WELL!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TOO MANY ACCIDENTS HAVE HAPPENED WITH PEOPLE
USING CELL PHONES WHILE ON THE HIGHWAY-
THOSE CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE HANDLED AT
ANOTHER PLACE OR ANOTHER TIME IS WHAT I’D HAVE
TO SAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WHATEVER YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT CAN WAIT SO
THAT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYES ON WHAT IS UP
AHEAD-
I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO WHAT
YOUR CONCERNED SANTA CLAUS HAS SAID!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IT’S ALSO SILLY TO WATCH TV WHILE DRIVING
IN THE CAR-
WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HOME IN A COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT WITH NO OTHER THOUGHT AT HAND
TO ADMIRE THAT SHINING STAR!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I SAY TO YOU TO DO
WHAT I DO BEFORE I HEAD ON OUT-
I ALWAYS BUCKLE UP FIRST BEFORE HEADING OUT
ON MY ROUTE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WITH ALL BUCKLED IN, THE RIDE IN MY SLEIGH,
OR IN YOUR CAR WILL BE AS IT SHOULD-
FOR SAFETY’S SAKE AS MUCH AS YOU COULD.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“HO! HO! HO! NOW THAT I’M FINISHED PREACHING
ON THE SUBECT OF YOUR SAFETY FOR THE HOLIDAY-
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET READY FOR ME, FOR
I WILL BE SHORTLY ON MY WAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR INTO THE
YEAR 2003-
MAY WE ALL COUNT OUR BLESSINGS THAT WILL BE ACCIDENT
FREE!

Three On The Lap While Driving (2012)

1. Breakfast.

2. Newspaper.

3. Pet.

======================

All comfy and set-

Until a “not allowed” law

goes into effect.

Modern Mother Goose-On The Loose # 220 (Independence)

Grandma didn’t want to stop
driving the car-
Even though she didn’t drive
very far.

Just a little trip to the store
and back-
Or to the hamburger place
to get a big mac.

And once a week to church
to pray-
Or to the park, on a sunny
day.

Yes, someone else could
take her, but she wanted
to stay independent-
To drive herself, wherever
she went.

Grandma didn’t want to
stop driving the car-
Even though she didn’t
drive very far.

-2010-

Three Unsafe Things To Do While Driving (2010)

1. Text.

2. Put on makeup.

3. Carry your 15 cats with you.
============================
Speaking of a distraction-
With all of that curiosity going on.

Three Unsafe Things To Do While Driving (2010)

1. Text.

2. Put on makeup.

3. Carry your 15 cats with you.
============================
Speaking of a distraction-
With all of that curiosity going on.

Modern Mother Goose-On The Loose # 908 (That Two Car Space Inbetween On The Road)

To drive and leave two car spaces inbetween-

Is an event that is hardly ever seen.

.

Bumper to bumper is how it usually is-

In that serious road driving biz.??

.

For if you leave two car spaces in between-

An awful lot of cutting is generously seen.

.

Mack who has been driving in the left lane,

for a mile-

Will surely squeeze in, quickly, in grand style.

.

And Betty who has to turn suddenly, in order

to get her nails done-

Will dive into that sudden cut, you know the one.

.

And to think that these folks knew 3 miles back

that they were gonna need to be in the right lane-

Smartly so, riding in the left, with so much power to gain.

.

It’s just too bad, when they find no cutting space-

To go down further, to turn around, is what they will face.

.

To drive and leave two car spaces inbetween-

Is an event that is hardly ever seen.

 

To Carry A Heavy Load-While Driving On The Road (7)

To re-read your driving manual, in the modern day-

To know that you need to get further back, instead of

driving behind another car only one inch away.

-2016-

Three That Will Not Be Using Their Cell Phones While Driving (2006)

1. Adults.
2. Teenagers.
3. Santa Claus.
=======================================
Santa needs to keep his mind free and clear-
In order to watch the sky guided by his reindeer.

Santa Claus’ Driving On The Road Suggestions (2002)

SANTA CLAUS IS GETTING READY AT THE NORTH POLE-
SO THAT THE WONDERS OF CHRISTMAS EVE CAN UNFOLD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
AND WHILE HE PREPARES TO GET OUT ON THE ROAD-
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT HE WANTS
TO SAY TO EASE UP HIS LOAD!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“DON’T EVEN FATHOM THE THOUGHT TO DRINK
AND DRIVE-
SO THAT ALL OF MY STOPS WILL INCLUDE
PATRONS THAT ARE SAFE AND ALIVE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“EVERYONE ON THIS HOLIDAY SHOULD HAVE
LOTS OF FUN-
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT CAN BE
UNSELFISHLY DONE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IF ONE FEELS THE DESIRE TO PARTY AND DRINK-
THEN ALL ONE HAS TO DO IS JUST SIT FOR A
MOMENT AND THINK!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BE SURE TO HAVE A SAFE WAY HOME FOR ALL
CONCERNED-
THE LESSON NOT TO, HAS BEEN DONE AND
MANY HAVE BEEN BURNED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND STOP AT THOSE RED LIGHTS IS WHAT I’D
ALSO LIKE TO SAY-
“FOR WHATEVER REASON YOU’RE IN SUCH A HURRY,
THAT ONE RED LIGHT ISN’T WORTH THE PAIN
CAUSED BY THE SCURRY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I HAVE MANY STOPS TO MAKE AND I PLAN
THEM WELL AHEAD-
I JUST DON’T JUMP IN MY SLEIGH, AND HURRY
DOWN THE ROAD DIRECTLY FROM MY BED!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
” AS FAR AS ROAD RAGE THERE IS NO
SOUND REASON-
“TO GET ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE DURING
THIS MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“RELAX, BREATHE DEEP, AND SIMMER DOWN-
FOR THERE IS MUCH TO SEE WITH ALL THE
HOLIDAY SIGHTS AND SOUNDS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I’VE ENJOYED ALL YOUR LETTERS, E-MAILS,
AND A FEW PHONE CALLS-
ALONG WITH MY EARLY VISITS WITH YOU AT THE
NEIGBORHOOD MALLS!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“BUT PLEASE WHEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PHONE
CALL FROM YOUR CELL-
DON’T MAKE IT WHILE DRIVING FOR I WISH YOU
STAY WELL!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TOO MANY ACCIDENTS HAVE HAPPENED WITH PEOPLE
USING CELL PHONES WHILE ON THE HIGHWAY-
THOSE CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE HANDLED AT
ANOTHER PLACE OR ANOTHER TIME IS WHAT I’D HAVE
TO SAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WHATEVER YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT CAN WAIT SO
THAT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYES ON WHAT IS UP
AHEAD-
I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO WHAT
YOUR CONCERNED SANTA CLAUS HAS SAID!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“IT’S ALSO SILLY TO WATCH TV WHILE DRIVING
IN THE CAR-
WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HOME IN A COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT WITH NO OTHER THOUGHT AT HAND
TO ADMIRE THAT SHINING STAR!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I SAY TO YOU TO DO
WHAT I DO BEFORE I HEAD ON OUT-
I ALWAYS BUCKLE UP FIRST BEFORE HEADING OUT
ON MY ROUTE!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“WITH ALL BUCKLED IN, THE RIDE IN MY SLEIGH,
OR IN YOUR CAR WILL BE AS IT SHOULD-
FOR SAFETY’S SAKE AS MUCH AS YOU COULD.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“HO! HO! HO! NOW THAT I’M FINISHED PREACHING
ON THE SUBECT OF YOUR SAFETY FOR THE HOLIDAY-
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET READY FOR ME, FOR
I WILL BE SHORTLY ON MY WAY!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR INTO THE
YEAR 2003-
MAY WE ALL COUNT OUR BLESSINGS THAT WILL BE ACCIDENT
FREE!

THREE TIMES TO CROSS OVER ON ANY GIVEN STREET IN A VEHICLE (2004)

1. When you can barely make it across.
2. When you think that it is safe to cross.
3. When the car behind you wants you to cross..
============================================
NO NEED TO HONK AT ME-
CAUSE I’M GONNA CROSS WHEN IT’S GOOD FOR ME, NOT
WHEN IT IS LIKE YOU THINK THAT IT OUGHT TO BE!