THREE WAYS TO KNOW THAT THINGS AREN’T LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE (2005)

 

1. The cream is missing from your Twinkie.

2. The chip bag contains only 3 large chips.

3. Medicare is covering Viagra.

==========================================

THINGS BEGIN TO LOOK UPSIDE DOWN-

WHEN THE CORRECT FORMULA DOESN’T

SEEM TO BE FOUND!

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THREE THINGS THAT ONE MIGHT HATE TO SEE ALONG THE ROAD WHILE DRIVING (2005)

1. A dead carcass.

2. An accident.

3. A person getting ready to pull out of one of the side streets in front of you,

with their cell phone worn on their ear.
========================
ANOTHER ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN-
WHILE SOME DIMBO DRIVING AND YAPPING!

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THREE WAYS TO PLAY THE GAME (2005)

 

1. Play fairly.

2. Give it your best.

3. Pray that your parents keep their mouths shut.

===================================

IT GETS TENSE-

WITH TOO MUCH INTERFERENCE!

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THREE FOR SURES (2005)

 

1. Death

2. Taxes.

3. Higher gas prices.

=====================

IT LEAVES A MENTAL SCAR-

WHEN STOPPING TO FILL UP THE CAR!

 

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THREE TYPES OF FOLK WHO TRIP (2005)

 

1. Clumsy.

2. Those not paying attention.

3. Politicians.

=============================

AND WHETHER IT BE BY CAR, PLANE, OR BARGE-

TO THE POLITICIAN THERE IS NO CHARGE!

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THREE BATTLEGROUNDS IN HISTORY (2005)

1. San Jacinto.
2. Gettysburg.
3. Your local apartment complex.
==============================
THE SECURITY-
ISN’T AS GOOD AS IT SHOULD BE!
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THREE WAYS TO RATE AN EMPLOYEE WORKING UNDER YOU IN REGARDS TO GETTING A PROMOTION (2005)

1. Through their attendance record.
2. Through their work ethic.
3. By asking the opinion of the employee’s co-workers.
===========================================
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SENIORITY-
THE FAIR WAY IN WHICH IT SHOULD BE?
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THREE THINGS TO KEEP LOCKED UP AT HOME (2005)

1. Your guns.

2. Your valuables.

3. Your car keys.

=======================

KIDS SNEAKING KEYS AND DRIVING IN REHEARSE-

WITH CONSEQUENCES THAT CANNOT BE REVERSED!

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THREE OUCHIES (2005)

1. A paper cut.
2. A bee sting.
3. That 3 dollar a gallon gas.
———————————-
NO ONE CAN SKIRT-
THAT FILLING UP THE GAS TANK
IS A SURE HURT!
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THREE BACK THENS AND NOWS (2005)

1. Clothesline/dryer.

2. Wood stove/microwave.

3. E-mail/instant and or text messaging.

=================

INSTANT GRATIFICATION-

THE FASTEST WAY TO GET THINGS DONE!

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