THREE WAYS TO KNOW THAT THE TRAFFIC IN IS ABOUT TO GET HAIRY (2004)

 

1. School will be open once again.

2. Construction is about to begin.

3. The neighbors’ son is taking lessons in one of those special driving cars.

===================================================

THE TRAFFIC WILL NOT STALL-

MERELY HEAD TOWARDS A SLOW CRAWL!

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THREE REASONS THAT CHILDREN SHOULD NOT CHEW GUM IN CHURCH (2004)

  1. The smacking can become too noisy.
  2. It’s not good manners.
  3. Someone may end up sitting on it when it is accidently placed on the pew.
======================================
A GUMMY MESS-
IS WHAT BECOMES OF THAT
SUNDAY CHURCH DRESS!
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THREE NOT ON THE UP AND UP (2004)

 

1. Those lip synchers.

2. Those who hire ghost writers.

3. Those who hand paint their quilts.

======================================

FABRIC PIECED TOGETHER THE OLD FASHIONED WAY-

IS NOT ALWAYS DONE IN THE PRESENT MODERN DAY!

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THREE THINGS THAT YOUR PARENT CAN LEAVE YOU (2004)

1. Money.

2. Property.

3. Their handicapped parking sticker.
=============================
NEVER BEEN DONE-
BUT THE JUDGE HAD ONE!

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THREE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO MAKE SOMEONE NOT RECOGNIZE THEMSELVES (2004)

1. They can get a new haircut.

2. They can do the plastic surgery thing.

3. They can become a victim of identity theft.
—————————–
YOU ARE YOU-
UNTIL YOU BECOME TWO!

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THREE NECESSARY THINGS TO HAVE IN ORDER TO FLY (2004)

 

1. A ticket.

2. Luggage.

3. Ear plugs.

============================================

THE ONLY WAY TO TONE-

DOWN THE OTHERS TALKING ON THE CELL PHONE!

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THREE WAYS TO A CLOSER SHAVE (2004)

  1. One blade.
  2. Two blades.
  3. Three blades to four.
================================
QUICKER OUT THE DOOR-
UNTIL IT GROWS OUT A
LITTLE MORE!
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THREE REASONS THAT ONE DOES NOT NEED TO WATCH ANY FUTURE WEATHER REPORTS (2004)

  1. Weather reports are boring.
  2. One can just stick their head outside to detect what is going on.
  3. If there is going to be any detection of rain, surely the tv stations will break into regular programming.
======================================
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR THE RAIN HAS GONE AWAY-
AND MAY OR MAY NOT COME BACK ANOTHER DAY!
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THREE REASONS TO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES (2004)

  1. They are in bloom.
  2. You may not know how one smells.
  3. There may come a time when you wished you had.
======================================
WE WOULD HATE TO ASK WHY-
DID WE LET THE LITTLE THINGS
IN LIFE PASS US BY?
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THREE REASONS THAT A PROFESSIONAL SINGER WOULD STOOP TO LIP-SYNCH (2004)

 

1. Bad cold.

2. Bad hair day.

3. Can’t really sing after all.

=========================================================

A FALSE VOICE SUNG-

CAN EVENTUALLY LEAD TO ONE GETTING STUNG!

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